Hi, this is Laveena. I’m updating this article I wrote for Jovian exactly 4 years ago, and specifically writing to those of you who are new to Human Design, yet deep into the Human Design Experiment, within your first 3.5 years.

Perhaps you’ve seen the not-self mind chatter with awareness, and in the beginning of recognizing your design’s conditioning, been horrified, or in awe, at how precisely Human Design can track your mind’s running commentary about the life experience you are in.

If you believe the story inside your head about yourself, you are identified with who you are not. If this is still the case, can I ask your conditioned mind a question?

Are you ready to Surrender?

Just give up right now.

As a 3/5 Profile; a "Martyr/Heretic" learning through inevitable mistakes, I found the yammering of mind can be very hard to ignore in the first half of my first 7 years. The “Not-Self” seems to take a long time to tame in the beginning. Not-Self is a term we use to describe deeply conditioned behaviors as a result of our response to the energies of others and the neutrino transit program we encounter every moment of every day.

Your not-self mind is so very powerful.

Without awareness, it's a nightmare that you don't even realize you are dreaming in.

And with awareness?

Well, sometimes it can be even more horrid to observe. Imagine realizing the dream you are in is a nightmare - and your eyes are wide open. While no matter what you do, you just can't seem to wake yourself up.

Please allow me to illustrate this point with a story wherein perhaps you can identify with what this is like. Would you like to hear about one of my biggest turning points?

I remember as a child growing up, I took every failure as proof that there was something wrong with me, perhaps missing or broken. Just a function of mechanics in my design (3rd line personality, undefined heart, head and sacral with 3rd lines as well).

In the middle of taking my first Human Design Class, Living Your Design the first time in 2013, I experienced my first profound “shattering” of the not-self mind. I broke down crying in grief when we got to the heart center. Because my tape-recording inside my head about myself was I can’t do anything right, nobody loves me, there’s something wrong with me and after that first release I could finally see the conditioning at play. Later I remember making a “mistake” in relationship with my boyfriend at the grocery store, where I found myself saying in desperation out loud - “I can’t do anything right.” All of a sudden my hand flew to cover my mouth, my eyes went wide open with shock, and I had the first conscious moment of realization in seeing my not-self mind at work! Now I knew exactly where it came from, and that it was absolutely NOT the truth.

Until you follow your Strategy and Authority in decision-making consistently, all the Human Design education you can handle does you no good. Until you live your Design, education means nothing. Until you "Just Do It" - which ironically in most cases begins with a strategy of waiting for life to come to you rather than initiating - you'll never get to live the uniqueness that you were designed to be.

Oh, I've seen this first-hand, how very hard it is to stay committed and focused on your experiment. "But... but... but; I want, I need, I have to; I should do this, I should do that; I’ve gotta make it happen, mine, mine, mine...." Good grief, how bossy our busy not-self mind can be! How can you not think, want, need, and be passionate about everything your mind thought you've always wanted or wanted to be??!

Only a very small percentage of the people who come to Human Design are likely to take it to the furthest extent possible. Ra said 4% of 4% of the population could live this. It is a fact that, even if you can’t live this knowledge, you can still benefit from increasing your awareness and using the tools to come to grips with the challenges you are living in this reality. It took me years to unravel the false belief system of something wrong with me that held me back from accepting, honoring and loving myself unconditionally.

Really, this knowledge is for children. To help parents guide their little ones to be empowered so that they can make decisions for themselves, as themselves. In the coming years, especially after 2027 when our background frequency shifts, you'll see how terribly important it is that this knowledge is passed along to our kids as soon as possible.

Whether or not you follow the original version of this knowledge as delivered by Ra and certified analysts; or if you get pulled into one of the offshoots of Human Design, or whatever else you find works for you.... either way, it's all ok. We all have our own “fractals” of people we are here for. And we are all here for certain others in our journey.

If you're an adult locked deep in the illusion of Maia (the mire of mind’s illusions!), likely you are someone who won't make it to full differentiation. If ever one had the chance to though, the fact that you are reading this tells me something about you - you’re on my fractal, and I know that’s where I’m heading. Who knows whether we will make it there? That’s really not the point.

When you wake up you realize that your path, your process, is perfect, exactly as we are. The joy is in the journey and the destination is NOT under our control. We get what we get, and it's all ok. Really.

Whether you end up living out your uniqueness and purpose in life, or simply reduce the suffering that comes from trying to be what you are not, you have “no choice” to change the design. All in all, your life can be positively impacted when you experiment with your Human Design.

Though, your mind may not like it. Nope, not one bit!

I'm not telling you all this to deter you from experimenting with Human Design or "trying to wake up" though trying really is futile. Yes, I do want to share that no matter how hard you may study or try, it won't help. Again, you get what you get, and it's all okay. You're not in control of any of that, and I hope to explain why in a bit.

I know that if you are new to design, likely your mind is going to compare your design to others. Your mind is very good at measuring - how does your design look or function compared to theirs? How long have they been experimenting with following their design compared to you?

Your conditioned mind likely will have design envy, wishing you had this or that channel, this or that center, this or that gate, this or that profile instead of the one you have. Your mind may immediately ask if there's anything that can be done to change your design, or - this one is common - how you can become a Manifestor (Innovator in BG5 terms) if you weren't born as one.

You're likely going to feel totally overwhelmed at first when you join the social networking groups, wondering what the heck 98% of the conversations are talking about most of the time.

All the while, as you learn about your design, something is whispering deep inside you; "This might be the solution. Human Design just might be the thing that helps me fix what must be wrong with me. Human Design just might help me get control of my life once and for all. Human Design just might help me become the person I always wanted to be."

Prepare for those expectations to be shattered in an unexpected way.

Website after website, you may find that you search the internet like a gold-crazed treasure hunter, looking for details on the Human Design system and reading all the books you can find.

Article after article, audio after audio, video after video, something becomes clearer and clearer the longer you immerse yourself in the words of Ra Uru Hu. The more you expose yourself to his frequency and that of the people you resonate with who share the spark of Human Design with the world, you watch the evidence mount to support one unbelievable concept.

Slowly, this one thing stands out, that when first came upon was laughed at and dismissed immediately... if it didn't turn you off to Human Design completely.

Two small, simple words that no one would believe if they didn't see the evidence day in and day out of the complete and absolute truth:

No Choice.

"No Choice, said the Voice," was the first time I'd seen those words in reply to one of my posts on social media. It flew in the face of something I'd been deeply conditioned to believe. And that was the concept of Free Will and all the related beliefs I'd attached to in the homogenized world.

What do you mean, no choice? I wondered. How on earth could that be possible?

Sometimes, something comes along that makes your whole world turn upside down.

Like when Pythagoras called the earth round when everyone accepted that our world was flat. Or a more recent discovery that light doesn’t always travel at the speed of light. Or when you come to Human Design and discover that we don't have free will. That free will, like everything else here on this plane, does not work the way we think it does and that your personality’s apparent control of your life experience is just an illusion.

When you come to Human Design, you don't tend to experiment with it unless you are committed to making a change. You may do it because you want something... something different. You may feel there must be more to life than suffering, and so you experiment, you observe, you study the world from this new perspective.

Sometimes, you can watch as your whole world seems to be falling apart at the seams (while wondering how it was possible to fall further from grace). How do you know what to trust when everything you'd spent a lifetime giving authority to before wasn't dependable for getting you where you wanted to be?

Life being a journey, not a destination... well, whatever happens, happens. Fate steps in and throws the monkey wrench in your plans. Sometimes things can be so confusing as you decondition that your mind may find it often wishes you had never, ever heard of Human Design. I’m serious! You can’t unlearn this stuff, because now you’re aware of your own mechanics. Oh, how powerful the not-self mind can be, arguing for it’s control over your life!

How can you let go of control of your life? By coming to the cellular realization that you never had it to begin with; that you are not here to be in control of anything outside of you. The realization that who you think you are not in control of anything inside of you, either. That all you as a conscious personality are here to do is... enjoy the ride your body takes you on and watch the movie of your life.

Most of us are trapped in a case of mis-identification with the conditioning of our mind. Ra calls this “gas of the brain” ie farts. Think about it. Like stomach gas, your mind is inconsistent, comes and goes based on what you’re digesting from life, it rumbles and grumbles inside of you, and when it takes action it often stinks!

Let's consider that we are all made up of vibrating matter. Each of us operating like tuning forks, each of us imprinted by the neutrino ocean with a certain Human Design, a "song" if you will. You are an orchestra that plays a symphony designed to be utterly unique.

Ra Uru Hu stated after his encounter with the Voice that the neutrino, a subatomic particle, had mass - that science later proved. The information imprinted within us by these neutrinos tells a detailed story describing the energy that imprinted us at two critical moments, showing up as definition in your Human Design bodygraph.

The definition created by this energy is what you can reliably trust to make decisions in life. Tuning into this energy by experimenting with your strategy and authority is at the core of your discovery of the benefit that Human Design can offer you.

See, all of us are deeply in the thrall of the "program" - the neutrino ocean flavored by the gates influencing us via the planets that those neutrinos flow through endlessly. Those neutrinos are bombarding our openness with what to feel, what to breathe, what to be.

Helpless in the sea of neutrinos which program us, we behave in ways that we aren't even aware of unless we know our design. We make mistakes and learn what we can dependably trust, that place within or the process it takes for us to rely upon when navigating the constant choices that are presented to us daily.

Yep, I said it. "Choices." And yet, who we think we are, truly has no choice.

Choiceless? You bet we are. Choiceless in the thrall of the transit field, the neutrino program, the illusion of the Maia; choiceless to live your design - either as true self or not-self or some varying combination of the two. We are all filtering the neutrino program, helplessly living and dying on the Stage of Life in the Play of the Program.

The beauty of Human Design is that it gives you a map of the forces at work within you. It offers a way to be true to the unique imprinting bestowed upon you by the program; the energy that is consistently and reliably at work within you determining your uniqueness.

What's the way? Strategy and Authority. It's all about decision-making. There's no need to take this on faith; try it for yourself and see.

Look, maybe you'll be someone like me, a 3rd line Profile, who constantly makes mistakes and falls. Hard. Flat on your face. Like a toddler just learning how to walk without holding onto things - who runs smack into the coffee table and shrieks in pain for the next half hour.

But, you know what? For many people it takes making those dang mistakes, sometimes over and over again, to figure out how to follow Strategy and Authority. To recognize the signposts that are there to guide you along your path. To know when it's best to wait and appreciate your life for what it is - not how your mind thinks it should be.

Sometimes the best lessons learned are "mistakes."

Here, take a deep breath and imagine you're on a loud movie set between takes. I want you to see the film crew, hear the actors talking and feel those hot lights they're all standing underneath. Smell the sweat from too many bodies together in a room. "Quiet on the set!" yells someone and a guy in black comes over in front of the camera. I want you to picture a movie clapper board, with "take three" written in chalk on it. "Miss-takes" that we make are often the best way to learn and are how we eventually get it right. Close your eyes a moment and let that sink in as you let go of trying to avoid mistakes.

Just knowing that we are not in control, that we can't help what we go through or how, can make all the difference in the world.

So what if maybe you won't "wake up" in the "enlightened-guru-sitting on-a-mountaintop-with-no-food-levitating-and-spouting-wise-crap" that people repeat endlessly from those who traveled far and wide to hear for themselves. Following your Strategy and Authority changes your perspective and, therefore, your experience of life and your life itself. Things can be way, way different and more correct for you than they are now. Your life is not about expectations or what you do. It's about experiences and who you be.

You aren't broken. There's nothing wrong with you. And that person you always thought you wanted to be?

Choiceless.

So tell your mind just to give up already. Do yourself and everyone around you a favor - let the body live its life.

Written by Laveena Archers, originally published on JovianArchive.com in May of 2015 as Andrea Abay-Abay

Andrea is a 3/5 Emotional Projector and Jovian's PR & Social Media butterfly. She has the pleasure of writing and creating Human Design System content since 2014.

She’s a certified Human Design Professional Living Your Design Guide Trainer, BG5 Consultant, Human Design Analyst and Foundations Teacher. Laveena spent the majority of her life buried in self-help and self-improvement books and courses, mixed in with a healthy dose of trial-and-error discoveries of what doesn't work. Human Design was something she found that finally worked!

Laveena has a fondness for beauty in nature and expressing creativity. She fills most of her time away from the screen hiking while taking nature pictures, playing with her daughter, and listening to Human Design lectures by Ra Uru Hu.