New to the Human Design System? You Should Probably Give Up Now

Hi, this is Laveena. I’m updating this article I wrote for Jovian exactly 4 years ago, and specifically writing to those of you who are new to Human Design, yet deep into the Human Design Experiment, within your first 3.5 years.

Perhaps you’ve seen the not-self mind chatter with awareness, and in the beginning of recognizing your design’s conditioning, been horrified, or in awe, at how precisely Human Design can track your mind’s running commentary about the life experience you are in.

If you believe the story inside your head about yourself, you are identified with who you are not. If this is still the case, can I ask your conditioned mind a question?

Are you ready to Surrender?

Just give up right now.

As a 3/5 Profile; a "Martyr/Heretic" learning through inevitable mistakes, I found the yammering of mind can be very hard to ignore in the first half of my first 7 years. The “Not-Self” seems to take a long time to tame in the beginning. Not-Self is a term we use to describe deeply conditioned behaviors as a result of our response to the energies of others and the neutrino transit program we encounter every moment of every day.

Your not-self mind is so very powerful.

Without awareness, it's a nightmare that you don't even realize you are dreaming in.

And with awareness?

Well, sometimes it can be even more horrid to observe. Imagine realizing the dream you are in is a nightmare - and your eyes are wide open. While no matter what you do, you just can't seem to wake yourself up.

Please allow me to illustrate this point with a story wherein perhaps you can identify with what this is like. Would you like to hear about one of my biggest turning points?

I remember as a child growing up, I took every failure as proof that there was something wrong with me, perhaps missing or broken. Just a function of mechanics in my design (3rd line personality, undefined heart, head and sacral with 3rd lines as well).

In the middle of taking my first Human Design Class, Living Your Design the first time in 2013, I experienced my first profound “shattering” of the not-self mind. I broke down crying in grief when we got to the heart center. Because my tape-recording inside my head about myself was I can’t do anything right, nobody loves me, there’s something wrong with me and after that first release I could finally see the conditioning at play. Later I remember making a “mistake” in relationship with my boyfriend at the grocery store, where I found myself saying in desperation out loud - “I can’t do anything right.” All of a sudden my hand flew to cover my mouth, my eyes went wide open with shock, and I had the first conscious moment of realization in seeing my not-self mind at work! Now I knew exactly where it came from, and that it was absolutely NOT the truth.

Until you follow your Strategy and Authority in decision-making consistently, all the Human Design education you can handle does you no good. Until you live your Design, education means nothing. Until you "Just Do It" - which ironically in most cases begins with a strategy of waiting for life to come to you rather than initiating - you'll never get to live the uniqueness that you were designed to be.

Oh, I've seen this first-hand, how very hard it is to stay committed and focused on your experiment. "But... but... but; I want, I need, I have to; I should do this, I should do that; I’ve gotta make it happen, mine, mine, mine...." Good grief, how bossy our busy not-self mind can be! How can you not think, want, need, and be passionate about everything your mind thought you've always wanted or wanted to be??!

Only a very small percentage of the people who come to Human Design are likely to take it to the furthest extent possible. Ra said 4% of 4% of the population could live this. It is a fact that, even if you can’t live this knowledge, you can still benefit from increasing your awareness and using the tools to come to grips with the challenges you are living in this reality. It took me years to unravel the false belief system of something wrong with me that held me back from accepting, honoring and loving myself unconditionally.

Really, this knowledge is for children. To help parents guide their little ones to be empowered so that they can make decisions for themselves, as themselves. In the coming years, especially after 2027 when our background frequency shifts, you'll see how terribly important it is that this knowledge is passed along to our kids as soon as possible.

Whether or not you follow the original version of this knowledge as delivered by Ra and certified analysts; or if you get pulled into one of the offshoots of Human Design, or whatever else you find works for you.... either way, it's all ok. We all have our own “fractals” of people we are here for. And we are all here for certain others in our journey.

If you're an adult locked deep in the illusion of Maia (the mire of mind’s illusions!), likely you are someone who won't make it to full differentiation. If ever one had the chance to though, the fact that you are reading this tells me something about you - you’re on my fractal, and I know that’s where I’m heading. Who knows whether we will make it there? That’s really not the point.

When you wake up you realize that your path, your process, is perfect, exactly as we are. The joy is in the journey and the destination is NOT under our control. We get what we get, and it's all ok. Really.

Whether you end up living out your uniqueness and purpose in life, or simply reduce the suffering that comes from trying to be what you are not, you have “no choice” to change the design. All in all, your life can be positively impacted when you experiment with your Human Design.

Though, your mind may not like it. Nope, not one bit!

I'm not telling you all this to deter you from experimenting with Human Design or "trying to wake up" though trying really is futile. Yes, I do want to share that no matter how hard you may study or try, it won't help. Again, you get what you get, and it's all okay. You're not in control of any of that, and I hope to explain why in a bit.

I know that if you are new to design, likely your mind is going to compare your design to others. Your mind is very good at measuring - how does your design look or function compared to theirs? How long have they been experimenting with following their design compared to you?

Your conditioned mind likely will have design envy, wishing you had this or that channel, this or that center, this or that gate, this or that profile instead of the one you have. Your mind may immediately ask if there's anything that can be done to change your design, or - this one is common - how you can become a Manifestor (Innovator in BG5 terms) if you weren't born as one.

You're likely going to feel totally overwhelmed at first when you join the social networking groups, wondering what the heck 98% of the conversations are talking about most of the time.

All the while, as you learn about your design, something is whispering deep inside you; "This might be the solution. Human Design just might be the thing that helps me fix what must be wrong with me. Human Design just might help me get control of my life once and for all. Human Design just might help me become the person I always wanted to be."

Prepare for those expectations to be shattered in an unexpected way.

Website after website, you may find that you search the internet like a gold-crazed treasure hunter, looking for details on the Human Design system and reading all the books you can find.

Article after article, audio after audio, video after video, something becomes clearer and clearer the longer you immerse yourself in the words of Ra Uru Hu. The more you expose yourself to his frequency and that of the people you resonate with who share the spark of Human Design with the world, you watch the evidence mount to support one unbelievable concept.

Slowly, this one thing stands out, that when first came upon was laughed at and dismissed immediately... if it didn't turn you off to Human Design completely.

Two small, simple words that no one would believe if they didn't see the evidence day in and day out of the complete and absolute truth:

No Choice.

"No Choice, said the Voice," was the first time I'd seen those words in reply to one of my posts on social media. It flew in the face of something I'd been deeply conditioned to believe. And that was the concept of Free Will and all the related beliefs I'd attached to in the homogenized world.

What do you mean, no choice? I wondered. How on earth could that be possible?

Sometimes, something comes along that makes your whole world turn upside down.

Like when Pythagoras called the earth round when everyone accepted that our world was flat. Or a more recent discovery that light doesn’t always travel at the speed of light. Or when you come to Human Design and discover that we don't have free will. That free will, like everything else here on this plane, does not work the way we think it does and that your personality’s apparent control of your life experience is just an illusion.

When you come to Human Design, you don't tend to experiment with it unless you are committed to making a change. You may do it because you want something... something different. You may feel there must be more to life than suffering, and so you experiment, you observe, you study the world from this new perspective.

Sometimes, you can watch as your whole world seems to be falling apart at the seams (while wondering how it was possible to fall further from grace). How do you know what to trust when everything you'd spent a lifetime giving authority to before wasn't dependable for getting you where you wanted to be?

Life being a journey, not a destination... well, whatever happens, happens. Fate steps in and throws the monkey wrench in your plans. Sometimes things can be so confusing as you decondition that your mind may find it often wishes you had never, ever heard of Human Design. I’m serious! You can’t unlearn this stuff, because now you’re aware of your own mechanics. Oh, how powerful the not-self mind can be, arguing for it’s control over your life!

How can you let go of control of your life? By coming to the cellular realization that you never had it to begin with; that you are not here to be in control of anything outside of you. The realization that who you think you are not in control of anything inside of you, either. That all you as a conscious personality are here to do is... enjoy the ride your body takes you on and watch the movie of your life.

Most of us are trapped in a case of mis-identification with the conditioning of our mind. Ra calls this “gas of the brain” ie farts. Think about it. Like stomach gas, your mind is inconsistent, comes and goes based on what you’re digesting from life, it rumbles and grumbles inside of you, and when it takes action it often stinks!

Let's consider that we are all made up of vibrating matter. Each of us operating like tuning forks, each of us imprinted by the neutrino ocean with a certain Human Design, a "song" if you will. You are an orchestra that plays a symphony designed to be utterly unique.

Ra Uru Hu stated after his encounter with the Voice that the neutrino, a subatomic particle, had mass - that science later proved. The information imprinted within us by these neutrinos tells a detailed story describing the energy that imprinted us at two critical moments, showing up as definition in your Human Design bodygraph.

The definition created by this energy is what you can reliably trust to make decisions in life. Tuning into this energy by experimenting with your strategy and authority is at the core of your discovery of the benefit that Human Design can offer you.

JovianArchive.com

See, all of us are deeply in the thrall of the "program" - the neutrino ocean flavored by the gates influencing us via the planets that those neutrinos flow through endlessly. Those neutrinos are bombarding our openness with what to feel, what to breathe, what to be.

Helpless in the sea of neutrinos which program us, we behave in ways that we aren't even aware of unless we know our design. We make mistakes and learn what we can dependably trust, that place within or the process it takes for us to rely upon when navigating the constant choices that are presented to us daily.

Yep, I said it. "Choices." And yet, who we think we are, truly has no choice.

Choiceless? You bet we are. Choiceless in the thrall of the transit field, the neutrino program, the illusion of the Maia; choiceless to live your design - either as true self or not-self or some varying combination of the two. We are all filtering the neutrino program, helplessly living and dying on the Stage of Life in the Play of the Program.

The beauty of Human Design is that it gives you a map of the forces at work within you. It offers a way to be true to the unique imprinting bestowed upon you by the program; the energy that is consistently and reliably at work within you determining your uniqueness.

What's the way? Strategy and Authority. It's all about decision-making. There's no need to take this on faith; try it for yourself and see.

Look, maybe you'll be someone like me, a 3rd line Profile, who constantly makes mistakes and falls. Hard. Flat on your face. Like a toddler just learning how to walk without holding onto things - who runs smack into the coffee table and shrieks in pain for the next half hour.

But, you know what? For many people it takes making those dang mistakes, sometimes over and over again, to figure out how to follow Strategy and Authority. To recognize the signposts that are there to guide you along your path. To know when it's best to wait and appreciate your life for what it is - not how your mind thinks it should be.

Sometimes the best lessons learned are "mistakes."

Here, take a deep breath and imagine you're on a loud movie set between takes. I want you to see the film crew, hear the actors talking and feel those hot lights they're all standing underneath. Smell the sweat from too many bodies together in a room. "Quiet on the set!" yells someone and a guy in black comes over in front of the camera. I want you to picture a movie clapper board, with "take three" written in chalk on it. "Miss-takes" that we make are often the best way to learn and are how we eventually get it right. Close your eyes a moment and let that sink in as you let go of trying to avoid mistakes.

Just knowing that we are not in control, that we can't help what we go through or how, can make all the difference in the world.

So what if maybe you won't "wake up" in the "enlightened-guru-sitting on-a-mountaintop-with-no-food-levitating-and-spouting-wise-crap" that people repeat endlessly from those who traveled far and wide to hear for themselves. Following your Strategy and Authority changes your perspective and, therefore, your experience of life and your life itself. Things can be way, way different and more correct for you than they are now. Your life is not about expectations or what you do. It's about experiences and who you be.

You aren't broken. There's nothing wrong with you. And that person you always thought you wanted to be?

Choiceless.

So tell your mind just to give up already. Do yourself and everyone around you a favor - let the body live its life.

Written by Laveena Archers, originally published on JovianArchive.com in May of 2015 as Andrea Abay-Abay

Andrea is a 3/5 Emotional Projector and Jovian's PR & Social Media butterfly. She has the pleasure of writing and creating Human Design System content since 2014.

She’s a certified Human Design Professional Living Your Design Guide Trainer, BG5 Consultant, Human Design Analyst and Foundations Teacher. Laveena spent the majority of her life buried in self-help and self-improvement books and courses, mixed in with a healthy dose of trial-and-error discoveries of what doesn't work. Human Design was something she found that finally worked!

Laveena has a fondness for beauty in nature and expressing creativity. She fills most of her time away from the screen hiking while taking nature pictures, playing with her daughter, and listening to Human Design lectures by Ra Uru Hu.

Discovering Human Design - A Projector's Experience

Discovering Human Design - A Projector's Experience

Flashback: my first published Human Design article in the Jovian Archive Newsletter!

Andrea in 2012

This article was originally posted on my HumanDesignProjectors.com blog in summer of 2014. It was republished on JovianArchive.com right before they put an ad out for a social media content creator, and one of my instructors (A Cross of the Sphinx) asked me if I'd like to apply since I seemed good with social media.

That invitation changed my life radically, and as I did my Living Your Design Guide training my prayers for the past two years were answered - I was invited to work with HD professionally. Thank Jupiter for our Sphinxes to help to give direction in this life! With her invitation I began to travel the path to be the Analyst and Teacher I am today.

For fellow seekers who are searching for answers, I hope this remembrance of what it was like for me to begin my Human Design experience inspires some Hope in you to dig into your own experiment.

With Love, Laveena (name changed in 2017)

I was invited into Human Design a few years ago by someone who guessed I was a Generator from what he knew of me. He ran my chart, which showed I was one of a new Type of human that started appearing here in 1781 - a Projector. He then said emphatically "You NEED to know this stuff!”. I ordered the Definitive Book of Human Design, got a reading, and my deconditioning journey began through taking Living Your Design.

Since discovering Human Design, I have listened to and watched thousands of hours material, mainly from the Jovian Archive Media Library in the free as well as paid areas of the site, but also learning through many personal readings, coaching sessions and taking classes from certified analysts like Genoa Bliven, Kumud Kabir, Darshana Matthews, Becky Markley, Lasita Shalev and Carol Zimmerman.

I just re-took the foundation classes with Bethi Black at an in-person Human Design Intensive in Mount Shasta. This training blew me away in terms of my understanding of how I really am designed to function. Though I loved the convenience of the online foundation classes I’d taken over a year, now that I was more comfortable with the terminology, condensing that knowledge into a shorter time span and adding the in-aura interaction into my process allowed for a breakthrough in my understanding that I needed and am incredibly grateful for.

Some Human Design material I have reviewed several times over to absorb deeper meaning. Human Design uses the English language creatively to interpret the energy present in a graphical representation synthesizing major exoteric and esoteric sciences in order to understand the forces that make us who we are. Despite my years of study, after this week’s Intensive I feel like I just woke up to my design and am hearing so many things as if for the very first time. I'm in awe as I observe my body’s movements and have a visceral feeling of the practical applications that the Human Design System has in my life.

Meeting the Author of my favorite book in 2015. Photo by Lynda Bunnell

I know I can remember now to follow my Projector strategy of waiting to be recognized and invited into the big decisions in life – those critical, life altering decisions of where to live, who to love, what to do for work. I know I can wait now for clarity over time through the emotional wave of my defined solar plexus before actually moving forward with those big decisions.

In practice, I made lots of mistakes. And yet this is a far cry from the old me who would constantly strategize about my future or jump the gun on decisions. Not only would my mind scheme and manipulate, it would initiate big changes spontaneously because of the intense feelings I was experiencing in my powerful, mutating Solar Plexus Center, the source of my own inner authority, the one place in my design where I am designed to make decisions - the one place that I had been deeply conditioned NOT to trust.

Now I know how to wait. My waiting is interesting, it is active. I am never bored as I watch my movie. I am actively waiting. Waiting for clarity. Waiting for fulfillment. Waiting for the perfect timing of movement.

This looks like a more introspective me in conversations, with far more patience when it comes to big decisions. I know to wait - not to try to force anything or figure things out - though putting it into practice is much easier said than done, and I consistently catch my mind as I fall into old patterns of behaving. I know to hold back from jumping in to answer other's questions without being asked. I know to restrain from doing things without being asked. And I know that I don’t have to do everything that people ask me in order to prove myself. I know these things, but breaking the habits of my “Not-Self” way of being takes time, and I’m not there yet when it comes to the everyday patterns of my life.

However...The awareness and release from this constant pressure of conditioned behavior is a relief beyond words. That pressure that I have felt all my life to prove that I am capable, that I am worthy, that I am loveable, that I am good enough - that pressure was slowly but surely killing me.

As a child I was told constantly that I could do anything I put my mind to. Such a well-meaning and positive sounding phrase! Yet the things that I expressed that I wanted to do most were dismissed as unrealistic fantasy by that same advisor who told me what I should do instead.

Growing up as the eldest, I was used to fulfilling high expectations and being bragged about by my family, step-family and in-laws, to the point that I found much of my value in achievements and in how other people saw me. My self-worth was deeply dependent on what I thought others thought of me.

I suspected at times that the constant pressure to prove myself was detrimental... yet I didn't know how to turn it off or how else I was supposed to be!

Andrea 2016

When I turned 30, seven years ago, I consciously became aware of the frenzied pattern of over achievement that I had grown accustomed to as a problem. I knew that I had this energy within me, pushing me to be ambitious, to constantly achieve in order to prove myself, to work hard to become smarter, faster, better, stronger, more beautiful, more sexy, to take immediate action. This energy, that is not who I really was, pushed me to set my mind to do something and make it happen, to force success. 

Sometimes it worked. I had a long list of accomplishments to justify my time, my worth, my value, my importance. They became resume boosters in several careers that weren't right for me, as I struggled to be consistent; to be busy, to be productive, and most importantly, to be hard-working. To live up to society's’ expectations. I was completely ignorant of my lack of life force energy to work and overworked my body. I pushed myself at the detriment of my health to accomplish, to acquire more, to achieve the American Dream.

What I learned was that my happy feelings of accomplishment didn’t last for long; chasing my many dreams burned me out to the point of extreme overwhelm, constant exhaustion and deep, debilitating depression. Even though I got everything I thought I wanted, I was bitter and felt guilty inside.

Now, I see that those thirty plus years of the recurring feeling of not-worthiness was a by-product of my personality pushing my body to do things it didn’t want to really do, and my bio-form just couldn’t operate correctly because of my blindness to my own inner truth. I had collected so many new experiences and accomplished so many amazing things, yet I never felt successful even when I did seem to “have it all.”

Andrea early 2017

I see now how open and vulnerable I was to the conditioning field of the people around me and the way that I was raised. My own incompetence (though my mind blamed it on others, wide split that I am) made me into something I was not. In my over-eagerness to please the people I loved, to prove myself and to be loved, trying to be what I was not led me to living a negatively conditioned “Not-Self” life. My expectations of myself and the expectations of others were pressures I forced myself to meet and if I couldn’t… well, I sure didn’t handle it gracefully, to say the very least.

As a Not-Self human I rarely made decisions from a place of calm or clarity - my decisions were generally impulsive, when I was either very up or very down emotionally. I ended up regretting so many of them very, very deeply - some of these decisions haunted me for years. I am designed to make mistakes and learn from them, but boy, some of my learning experiences were doozies and I would not wish them on anyone. 

Despite the innate resilience that is hard-wired into my design, I got to the point where I nearly killed myself. With similar chart aspects to the recently self-deceased Robin Williams, (“Individual circuitry”, “Split Definition” and “Emotionally Defined”), I had huge waves of powerful emotions, never felt whole when I was alone and often experienced the melancholy and sometimes depression that pulses through my being.

The ache of an individual without the ability to express it’s uniqueness can drain the life out of you when not understood, and can lead to intense feelings of loneliness that may have tragic endings for a Not-Self being. When that mutating pulse is understood and honored, it could instead lead to things like deep inner truth, innovative thinking and insight, intense creativity, radical change, higher knowing, and authentic direction. When you discover the truth about yourself, you are given the keys to unlocking your true potential and living the fullness of a life you were truly born for.

My Human Design Bodygraph. Illustration thanks to Loki at JovianArchive.com

For 35 years I worked hard at making my life a success, wanting to accept and love myself, but looking in the mirror with unconditional love was just not possible. Rejection of self is a difficult place from which to learn how to behave. The pain from the countless mistakes I've made over the years through my trial and error learning process made it truly challenging for me to forgive, accept and love myself without guilt or trying to change anything.

It took heart-wrenching events of deep personal loss for me to really see the patterning of my experiences and to try to break it. Without Human Design to help me understand the program I was living and the reasons for my bitter predicament, who knows how much longer I would have chosen to live here. With Human Design I know I can peel back the layers of Not-Self to begin living as who I truly am and find the sweetness of success that I desire and was born for.

After hitting rock-bottom, thanks to an invitation I escaped the low-land city life that was not correct for me and moved to the mountains (before I even knew about Primary Health System), focusing on being in nature, meditation and studying to get back to myself. Human Design was the major tool that allowed me to finally understand my life and brought the light of hope back into it, allowing me to function again.

Name changed to Laveena summer 2017

With Human Design, I knew I had had finally found the keys to mastering my life and what made other people tick. Now that I've been experimenting with the system for a few years, and after being invited several times to write about it, I know I can finally speak up and share my individual knowing to make a contribution.

Honoring the deep call from within to understand the way the world works in terms of the illusion we are living, I decided to commit my life fully to learning and sharing this work and my process with others when recognized and invited.

The vast majority of you who might be reading this will not need the kind of intense study in Design that I did to see results. All it takes is finding out your Type, Strategy and Authority and beginning your own experiment by testing it to see how it works. Human Design is not a belief system. It is a way of understanding the mechanics of the forces around us that shape who we all are.

As a Projector, I am designed to love and master systems - and our Projector process necessitates more study than any other Type. One of Ra’s primary recommendations to Projectors is to learn from our own kind, so I sought out those I could learn from. During my first year of living my experiment and studying design, I experienced major "shattering" of many beliefs about myself, the world and others that I had stubbornly clung onto as truth. It was really hard at times; I felt very confused and there was A LOT of crying!

As a solar plexus defined being, with feeling cognition, I'm a highly emotional person – something I was always deeply ashamed of. Starting as early as a young teenager I was prescribed powerful medications (which I could never consistently take) that just were not right for my sensitive system. Several important people in my life constantly pushed medication on me and sometimes I gave in just to please them. I didn’t trust my emotions and the people closest to me didn’t trust me because of them. They just couldn’t.

As the messenger of Human Design, Ra Uru Hu would say at times after delivering a particular bit of information “It is what it is” or "What to do?” Whether you are emotionally defined and feeling your own powerful waves of emotion or not emotionally defined and amplifying the emotions of those around you, there's nothing you can do but learn about your design, so that you can understand the mechanics to ride the waves of emotions, “Live Your Design” and through it all, "Love Yourself.” Human Design has shown me how to do that and I know it can do that for you too if you are ready for this knowledge.

No matter what my re-birthed form looks and behaves like, and on whatever mountain she will end up (I am designed to function optimally in the mountains), I finally get glimpses of what “passenger consciousness” means experientially and I am enjoying the movie of what it is to be human in my own form.

Now I want to ask you a few questions.

Would you like to know who you really are?

Would you like to see your true strengths and gifts?

Would you like to know what your Life Purpose really is?

Would you like to live life as the person you were born to be?

If you answered positively to these questions I invite you to join me on a journey of deconditioning yourself of the negative beliefs and incorrect behaviors that in all probability make up the bulk of who you think you are.

Get your Human Design Chart to find out your Type, Strategy and Authority now so that you can begin your own Human Design experiment to truly wake up to what you really are. I highly recommend a personal reading with a professionally trained analyst; all have had at least 3.5 years of deconditioning and intense immersion in the authentic version of this knowledge as it was given to Ra Uru Hu, the original messenger of this work who brought it forth into the world.  

Whatever path you take, the sooner you understand your design’s Strategy and Authority and implement this understanding in your life to begin your experiment, the sooner you can stop living a Not-Self life and live out your authentic uniqueness.

Isn’t it time to live the life you were designed for and experience the satisfaction, success, peace or surprise that is your birthright?

Name change story.